Road Trip Thoughts
I stole the car and went to my mom's again.
Got here around 6:00 AM. I like driving at night. The roads are clear and there's no construction work going on.
Things I think about while road tripping, because the CD player/radio is still broken:
- To the truckdriver who parked beside me in the rest area while I was napping. There are 50 empty spaces in the lot. Did you have to pull up right next to me with your truckload of mooing, farting cows? Isn't there such a thing as rest area etiquette? Probably not. Forget it, I'll go park somewhere else.
- Hey dude that tailed me for three miles while I was doing 70 mph, and then passed me, pulled in front of me, and drove 62. What's up?
- Hi truckdriver. I'm not stalking you, even though I've been following you for the last 60 miles or so. It's just that as long as you're doing 75, I can do 75. And if I see your brake lights come on or you suddenly slow down and do the speed limit, I can assume there might be a cop ahead. Consider yourself my little safety net.
- To the guy standing in front of me at McDonald's: nice ass!
- Dear convenience store clerks: You know I'm over 21. Stop carding me for cigarettes.
- "It's four in the morning, and not a soul around..." Oh my God! Is my singing really that bad? It sounds okay when I'm singing with the radio.
- "JUST GO AROUND ME, ASSHOLE!"
- Why is it that there's always road construction going on in Pennsylvania, but the roads NEVER, ever get fixed. Hmmm. That's weird.
- Who threw a shoe on the side of the road?
- Hello Mr. Gas Station Clerk. The first time you called me "honey" I didn't mind. By, the fourth time it started to get old. But, after six times...you're just pushing it now.
- Mountain Dew is my friend.
- Public Bathrooms. Don't use the first stall, there's always pee on the seat. Skip the second one too. It's reserved for people with flushaphobia (hey, I don't like touching the flush handle either, which is why I use my foot). You've got a 50/50 chance of not finding something gross in the 3rd stall, so just to be one the safe side, skip that one too. Best bet: 4th stall.
- I'm not making another road trip until this CD player is fixed. I mean it.
