2007 Academy Awards Nominees: My Predictions
I did an Oscar predictions post last year (click here for it).
Even though I was wrong about who would win like 98% of the time, I decided to keep with my new tradition. But, before moving on to that, let's reflect for a moment on past Oscar winners. Like, what happened to them? I haven't seen Reese, Julia, Sean, or Gwyneth in too many movies since they won theirs. Is the Oscar the Hollywood equivalent of giving someone a gold watch when they retire? "Thanks for your service, but we'll no longer be needing you. Here's your gift. Buh-Bye!"
The Susan Lucci Awards
For People Who Should Have Won an Oscar by Now, but Haven't
- Christopher Walken - No one can play a lunatic like Christopher Walken. He's so convincing, I think he might be one in real life.
- Brad Pitt - He's not just a pretty boy, he's a great actor. He'll win someday when he's old and it's time for him to retire.
- Johnny Depp - He has screen presence. He plays quirky characters with humor and sarcasm. Everyone loves Johnny Depp. If it wasn't for his role in Once Upon a Time in Mexico, the movie would have sucked ass.
- Nicholas Cage - Like Johnny Depp, he has screen presence and plays quirky characters. Those are the kind of actors that seem to stay around for a long time. He was great in The Weather Man.
- Robert Downey, Jr. - He might be a drug addict, but it doesn't stop him from being a great actor. He pushes the envelope too. I liked him in The Singing Detective.
Okay, here's the list of the 2007 nominees, who I think should win, and who is probably going to win. (Disclaimer: I only saw two of these movies)
Best Actor
- Leonardo DiCaprio in Blood Diamond (If he wins, we won't have to see him in any more movies.)
- Ryan Gosling in Half Nelson (Is this a movie about wrestling? Never heard of him or the movie.)
- Peter O'Toole in Venus (Wait, I thought he was dead! I thought he died like 10 years ago. He was in that 80's movie, Creator, with Mariel Hemingway, and I think he was like 90 years old when he did that. Oh hell, give him an Oscar.)
- Will Smith in The Pursuit of Happyness (Nah.)
- Forest Whitaker in The Last King of Scotland (I like Forest.)
My Pick: Peter O'Toole because he must be about 150 by now. He should get an Oscar just for being able to stand up.
Who Will Win: Will Smith, because no one will be expecting it. The Academy Awards likes to throw in that one surprise win every year.
Best Actress
- Penelope Cruz in Volver (Maybe next year.)
- Judi Dench in Notes on a Scandal (uh-uh)
- Helen Mirren in The Queen (Who?)
- Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada (I might have picked her if the movie hadn't sucked so bad.)
- Kate Winslet in Little Children (I like Kate Winslet. She should win.)
My Pick: Kate Winslet
Who Will Win: Judi Dench. I don't know why, just a gut feeling.
Best Supporting Actor
- Alan Arkin in Little Miss Sunshine (I loved this movie and he was good in it. Not THAT good, but good enough.)
- Jackie Earle Haley in Little Children (Oh, no way! The kid from the Bad News Bears? I didn't know he was still acting. He's being nominated for his role as a sex offender. I strongly doubt he'll win. No one's going to vote for a child molestor, even a pretend one.)
- Djimon Hounsou in Blood Diamond (Yeah, I like this guy. I saw him play small roles in other movies and I thought he was a good actor.)
- Eddie Murphy in Dreamgirls (I like Eddie. It would be cool if he won.)
- Mark Wahlberg in The Departed (I'll always think of him as Marky Mark of the Funky Bunch. Because of that, he shouldn't win.)
My Pick: Djimon Hounsou
Who Will Win: This is a tough one, but I'm gonna go with Eddie Murphy. He's got a good shot at it. I didn't see the movie, but I still think he's a frontrunner.
Best Supporting Actress
- Adriana Barraza in Babel (I consulted The Magic 8 Ball and it said "Ask again later." I'm going to take that as a no.)
- Cate Blanchett in Notes on a Scandal (She's okay.)
- Abigail Breslin in Little Miss Sunshine (Yes, because she's a little kid and it will piss off the other actresses.)
- Jennifer Hudson in Dreamgirls (I read good reviews about her acting.)
- Rinko Kikuchi in Babel (It's about time an Asian chick wins.)
My Pick: Abigail Breslin
Who Will Win: Jennifer Hudson
Best Director
- Alejandro González Iñárritu for Babel (No, because I can't pronounce his name.)
- Martin Scorsese for The Departed (It's his 8th nomination. Just give him something already.)
- Clint Eastwood for Letters from Iwo Jima (Didn't he win for Million Dollar Baby? Man, that was one depressing movie.)
- Stephen Frears for The Queen (Based on the subject material, no.)
- Paul Greengrass for United 93 (Oh Christ, not another 9/11 movie.)
My Pick: Anyone who hasn't done another fucking movie about 9/11
Who Will Win: Martin Scorcese. He's overdue for one.
Best Picture
- Babel (Didn't see it)
- The Departed (Ditto)
- Letters from Iwo Jima (Sounds boring)
- Little Miss Sunshine (Saw it and liked it.)
- The Queen (She never struck me as that interesting)
My Pick: Little Miss Sunshine
Who Will Win: Little Miss Sunshine. I think it's the one everyone will be rooting for.
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This Celebrity Gift Bags
This year's free Oscar goodie bag is worth between $75,000 and $100,000. They get handed out to all the presenters and nominees at the Academy Awards. I guess it's an incentive for them to show up. Here are some videos about it from ABC News: Glitzy Gift Bags for Oscar and Oscar's $100,000 Goodie Bags. Damn, no wonder people want to become celebrities. The richer you are, the more free shit you get!
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The 79th Annual Academy Awards
February 25, 2007 at 8:00 PM EST.
Hosted by Ellen Degeneres
